American English

There are many words used in the United States which irritate me. Here are a few examples and why they annoy me so much.

1. Instinctual. This word is particularly irritating as it does not exist. I have heard this word used several times. English is a great language because it is continously evolving. New words get added to the lexicon all the time. This is particularly true of computer science. 25 years ago, we did have not the following words in the language: Web, internet, flashdrive, zipdrive, jumpdrive, .com, ipod, RAM, google, wikipedia, web browser, direct tv, cell phone, ATM, text message email, laptop, GPS. Viruses made you sick. Worms were creatures which burrowed into the earth. All of these words uniquely define an object. There are no other words that have the same meaning. I am continously chastised for being an old-fashioned curmudgeon who can't handle a growing language. This is not true. Instinctual is simply the wrong adjective for instinct. The correct adjective is instinctive. So there is already a correct word. Creating a similar word (incorrectly) with an identical meaning is redundant and actually anethema for growth.

2. Defense a play. Sports commentary is replete with cringeworthy howlers that massacre the English language. This however is particularly egregious because it has now been adopted by the general public. One hears it all the time, "The Ravens have just not been able to defense the running game...." Once again there is already a correct verb - defend. Using defense as a verb is simply wrong.

3. President Obama is a person that can bring change to the country. Since when is a person a "that". For a person, there is a specific interrogative pronoun -who.

4. Split infinitives. Sometimes the split infiitive is acceptable. For instance: These experiments were peformed to further investigate the relationship between..........
Although, there is a split infinitive because "to" was followed by an adverb, the meaning is very clear and cannot be stated in any other way without sounding clumsy. On the other hand, I found the following phrase in Newsweek: "During the Civil War, Lincoln was able to brilliantly manage his team of rivals". This is just clumsy and wrong. The correct way would be - "During the Civil War, Lincoln managed his team of rivals brilliantly." A mistake like this is inexcusable considering that Newsweek must have numerous editors who (not that!) should have caught this error.

5. "I could care less." No you couldn't. If you dont' care for something, then you couldn't care any less. If you CAN care less, that means you do care.

I am sure I will think of some more annoying misuse of the language. When I do, I will blog. Now, that word never existed even 10 years ago.

Now for something completely different - Soccer

Now that the US elections have ended, I wish to blog about something non-political. I love football - the real football, known as soccer in the States and Australia. The beautiful game as it is called, is the most popular sport in the world. Its popularity in the States however, is limited and ranks behind American football, baseball, basketball, ice hockey, golf, tennis, ice skating, softball, volleyball, poker, nascar racing, bowling, cheerleading and ballroom dancing. Many reasons have been put forth as to its lack of popularity in the States. One of the major reasons was that success-minded Americans cannot tolerate losing to anyone in anything. This is partly true as evidenced by the fact that while the rest of the world was watching live table tennis or badminton in the Olympics, Americans were watching women's softball or 3rd reruns of Michael Phelps winning his umpteenth gold medal.


Another reason for American indifference to soccer is that they can't appreciate how one can be so fanatical about a game where two teams try to put a ball into a net for 90 minutes. Most importantly, the teams are unsuccessful in this endeavor 99% of the time. Contrast that to basketball or baseball where a significant outcome of some sort occurs every few seconds. In American football, an outcome of some sort occurs on every down. If the offense doesn't move forward, then it has lost a down, if it does then the offensive position has altered. For soccer fans, the constant stopping of the game is extremely annoying.

Soccer is not just a sport. In Europe, South America, Asia, Africa and the Middle East, soccer is part of life. During the season, the fans support their favorite teams with a fervor that is unparaleled in any other sport. Sometimes a little too much fervor as evidenced by the many reports of fans who have had heart attacks while watching important matches. On the other hand, soccer can be an outlet for life's miseries. Take for instance when Iraq played the United States in the soccer World Cup, of 2002 just a few short months after American troops had invaded. In that surreal game when sport and life collided, two well taken goals by an inspired Iraqi team shocked the Americans.

American audiences simply don't understand the game. The intricate nuances of passing, movement off the ball, dribbling and most importantly the dramatic moments of pure joy when a goal is scored. Soccer is more like life than any other game. It is filled with mundane moments and the players have to work hard, often without reward. But in some games there are moments of sublime beauty. Just like many important occurrences in life one can always remember where you were when you witnessed it. For me it was around 11 pm on a Sunday evening of 1988, Holland were playing Russia in the final of the European championships. Holland were leading 1-0 but the game was still in doubt. A Dutch midfielder floated the ball wide right 10 yards into the penalty area. The commentator with an air of disappointment said,"Oh! Its too wide." Just as the words left his lips, the ball was in its downward trajectory, sailing hopelessly wide towards the goal line, when all of a sudden the great Dutch striker Marco Van Basten leaped forward and struck the ball on the volley. The Russian goalkeeper didn't move as the ball flew into the opposite side of his goal. That moment is simply called "The Goal". Speak to any European of any descent about European international soccer and they will know precisely what you mean and where they were when they witnessed The Goal. It was magic.

There simply isn't another sport which is itself such a universal language. It is a pity that most Americans simply don't understand it.

Election prediction

The following is my election 2008 prediction:
Barack Obama: 311 electoral votes
John McCain: 227 electoral votes

Senate
Democrats: 58 seats
Republicans: 42 seats

House
Democrats: 249 seats
Republicans: 186 seats

Electing the President

I met a couple of people today discussing the election.
"You ready to vote?"
"Yes, I'm really motivated now. I just can't see how McCain and that woman can run the country."
Overheard a teenage girl with her girlfriends (all in Philly t-shirts) speaking to her father, "I can't believe Obama is going to win. Taxes are going to go up". "Got to have faith. Maybe it can be turned around." Her father replies.
With the enormous amount of material that has been fed into daily media (TV, radio, internet and newspapers), these anecdotes where ordinary people have tried to distill this election into a single issue that means something to them, is a sign that there are too many complex matters to keep in mind. While simplifying the election into a focused issue that is important to you is a legitimate method of deciding for whom you will vote, this method may be problematic. For instance, the person who simply couldn't stomach a McCain/Palin administration has no real evidence that McCain/Palin couldn't run the United States. I believe she meant that McCain is such a maverick (and hot head) that he couldn't run the White House. while his running mate isn't even worth mentioning by name. This opinion is not quite correct, as there is no evidence that McCain won't be ABLE to lead the country, while "that woman" is vice-president and won't really be leading the country at all. The girl who was afraid of an Obama Presidency because taxes will go up is equally wrong. Taxes will rise only for households which earn more than $250,000.
This method of making one's choice worries me as it would appear that many voters are making decisions based on incorrect assumptions.

Grey's anatomy

Last week, my mother-in-law wanted to watch Grey's anatomy. I dutifully switched channels so that she could watch the show. I decided to watch the show with her, as I had heard that it was extremely popular and so wished to see what the fuss was all about. I had only watched 1 previous episode and had not been particularly impressed. This time round, it was downright painful. The episode centered around Meredith Grey's boyfriend wanting to kick out her roommates and all the angst that causes. Along the way, there were the obligatory quirky patients each with a story that was supposed to grab our interest. All the stories were cliched - girl who tries to deny that she was dying, man whos wife dies before he is finally cured, and man believes he is down on his luck, gets a break and finds out he has cancer through a freak accident during surgery (the roof falls in as a result of pumbing problems). Through all this, all the regular cast are varying degrees of irritating, whining or plain obnoxious. Most importantly though is the fact that all of them are 2 dimensional, unbelievable and excruciatingly boring. I cared nothing for any of the characters but that wasn't the worst. The beginning and end of the show was bookmarked by Dr. Grey's saccharine sweet voice-over stating pseudo-intellectual surgical metaphors. I could not find one aspect of the show that was worth watching, and I am being kind. The writers should have their contracts revoked and the actors should simply be embarrased. But even that may a be beyond their shallow abilities.

3rd Presidents' debate

Compared to the last limpid, yawn, masquerading as a debate, this 3rd edition of Obama-McCain verbal confrontations was extremely lively. McCain was in fine form, flashing a relentless series of sanctimonious smirks at all of his opponents measured answers. It appeared that McCain was completely contemptuous of all Obama's answers. Every single one. This patronizing behavior only reinforces his nauseating hypocrisy when informing the American public that he understands that the public is "angry" at the economic crisis. He doesn't understand anything. How can a man who can't remember that he owns 7 homes understand the plight of people who were unable to make mortgage payments truly understand this? I can understand him laying out his economic strategy (or at least trying to) but please do not tell us that you understand the anger, frustration, pain, stress, despair that besets families which have lost homes and/or retirement savings. Therein lies the basic difference between the candidates. Obama doesn't try to explain to us how he "knows' what the American public feels, instead he pounds us unceasingly with his plans and proposals. He further tells us how his opponent's plans appear to favor the wealthy. This is slightly more palatable and constructive than McCain's constant reference to his audience as "my friends" and telling them that he knows how they feel or whats best for them and Joe the Plumber.

2nd Presidents' debate

Does anyone answer the questions asked? I think both candidates used every opportunity to push their plans and importantly the differences between them.

How many times did John McCain say, "my friends" or "fundamental differences"? Too many.

How many times did Obama say, "fundamental differences"? A few less.

Have you noticed that every time the candidates attack each other - the Ohio voter reactions went down?. Good. What a waste time this is.

Did anyone notice that McCain wore a red tie but Obama did not wear a blue one?

Yawn.

The one comment at which I took issue, is the use of the phrase "we will kill......." . Being a total pacifist I cannot agree with such language. I cannot agree with the philosophy of intentionally killing anyone. Senator Obama hit a raw nerve with me here.

Vice-Presidential debate

I sat down last Thursday night to watch the much anticipated debate between the two Vice-Presidential candidates. The anticipation was increased several-fold with the release of Sarah Palin's interview with Katie Couric, where the Alaskan Governor delivered more meaningless waffle than a busy New Jersey diner on Sunday morning. With most polls showing Senator Obama building up a lead, the stakes were high for both campaigns. The McCain campaign was anxious to stem the bleeding while the Obama campaign didn't want to lose any momentum that they had built.
As I watched the debate, I was reminded of my High School days when I was taught that the single most important factor in winning a debate was to stay within the topic. This certainly did not occur here. Sarah Palin appeared hell-bent on tying every question to what she did as Governor of Alaska. I felt sure that when Gwen Ifill asked her about the Iraq war that she would tell me about how she cut taxes in Alaska. Senator Biden was only slightly better where he monotonously blamed John McCain for just about everything from the recent Financial meltdown to the poor situation in Iraq. I would not have been surprised if Biden laid the blame for global warming at McCain's feet.
A decisive moment however, did occur right at the end of the evening. Gwen Ifill asked the candidates what they envisioned they would do as Vice-Presidents. As part of his answer, Joe Biden touched on his working class roots and proudly ran through his many accomplishments over 3 decades of service in the Senate and how he had always done what he felt was right. His voice lowered and as he stood there speaking, I thought that he was "Joe Six-Pack goes to Washington". And standing next to him was well, - nobody.

Back to school night

As father of a 10 year-old daughter in 5th grade, "back to school" nights are events that are mandatory. For the uninitiated, it is customary here in the state of New Jersey, for schools to schedule a night near the beginning of the school term where parents can see their child's classroom, find out the new teacher's classroom rules and any major projects that your child will need to complete during the academic year. This night is always dovetailed with the 1st meeting of the PTA, which takes place prior to meeting your child's teacher.

So, on a very warm and humid September evening, I found myself in my daughter's school's gymnasium staring at large revolving fans hanging almost 25 feet above the ceiling. Although well intentioned, these rotating monstrosities had as much success at cooling the immediate atmosphere as President Bush's policies to reduce global warming. Beads of sweat were evident on just about everyone of the conscientious parents. We had been given a sheet of paper with the names of all the office bearers of the PTA council. As I was new to the school district, none of the names were familiar, although I did note that every single one of the names was female. Looking around, I was quite proud that I was a member of a significant minority of fathers. Being a Monday night, it was most probable that many of the other fathers were stretched out comfortably on their living-room sofas getting ready to watch Monday night football - a male ritual I have never understood, while many others were just pulling into the driveway. The sheet of paper which doubled as a fan also contained the PTA budget which I learned was reasonably significant. $60140 was going to be spent on an assortment of activities including fundraising, trips and Science day. I realized that I had never quite understood how budgets for fundraising were reported. It now became clear to me that expenses are budgeted in the current year and profits/proceeds are summarized the following year. This rather mundane piece of logic came to me while I was staring at this large mural on a side wall. It was a massive map of the world stretching more than 20 feet across and 15 feet high. The map was colored an assortment of green, yellow, red, pink, white and brown. There was however absolutely no method to the coloring. For instance Sumatra, Borneo and Java which make up the Indonesian archipelago were colored yellow, green and brown respectively. All the now-independent states that made up the former Soviet Union were colored green, but in the North American continent, the United States was colored red while Canada was pink. The island of Sri Lanka (colored brown) was as large as Korea (pink). I began to worry about the educational standard in a school whose students appeared to struggle with the concept of relative proportions as well as national boundaries and/or continental drift. I assuaged my anxiety by telling myself that Bush’s policy of “No child left behind” testing did not encompass geography and perhaps I would find some relief when I heard about the Math and English curriculum.

“With that, the meeting is adjourned”, I heard the PTA President announce. Relief. Everyone made for the doors to find their respective classrooms. This entailed going through a maze of doors and hallways where had I been alone, would have required me to utilize a GPS locator. Room 115. I was greeted by a young female teacher who sweetly but authoritatively told me to sign up for my 1st parent teacher conference by selecting the most convenient of three dates in December.

I found my daughter’s seat in class and sat next to 4 mothers who each smiled at me. There were only two other fathers in a class of 20 students. Both the other dads were with their wives. I was the only dad who came alone. Its not that my wife isn’t interested in my daughter’s school work she is very shy and doesn’t like to make small talk with people she doesn’t know. Being Chinese, I have an inscrutable countenance, which seems to paralyze people into reticence in trying to engage me in any conversation (meaningful or otherwise). So, ‘back to school nights” are my duty. Besides, I am keen to learn what my daughter does at school.

We are led through a packet containing the curriculum, the child’s homework responsibilities, expectations and methods of assessment. I pored over all this and my eyes settled on the Math curriculum. Multiplication (3 digits), fractions, decimals, percentages, geometry and metric conversions. As I read this, my mind went back to when I was in 5th grade. It amazes me that this schedule of learning Mathematical skills has not changed in 3 decades. Although, there have been many attempts to alter the way these skills are learned, the actual schedule of when a student reaches these milestones has remained relatively unchanged. I have no idea as to the reason for such resilience except that it may simply be that it is too firmly entrenched in the mathematical pedagogy that it cannot be lifted. There is something reassuring however, about an unchanging institution.

The language arts curriculum had no surprises. The class would be working on comprehension, writing personal narratives, essays, realistic and literary essays. It was pleasing that such emphasis was placed on teaching our kids how to describe and express their thoughts.

The social studies curriculum comprised learning about indigenous cultures and colonization of the New world as well as the American revolution. The curriculum appeared crafted to help our kids become socially conscious individuals as they learn about early settlers and overcoming the repressive, oppressive, sanctimonious, hypocritical, arrogant, obnoxious, British colonialists.

In Science the kids were going to learn about the human body. Huh? That’s it? The teacher almost apologetically explained that the district was still in the process of being restructured. There was also going to be an “exhibition” where the kids would have to do a project and have the opportunity to present it to parents. Last year, my daughter had learned about scientific analyses, formation of hypotheses, magnetism, static electricity, life cycle of invertebrates, characteristics of the vertebrates. So I expected that the kids would be continuing by learning about heat, sound, and electricity. It appeared that any momentum in the Sciences would come to a screeching halt with this curriculum.

“So there won’t be any tests in Social Studies and Science, is that right?” I heard a parent ask. Yes, that was correct. The whole concept of testing is so unnatural. What you have spent weeks learning is condensed into a series of questions which needs to be answered in a tense environment where the kids have to stay focused for what seems to them an eternity. Nevertheless, although I despise endless tests that occur in the education system, I have always thought there is benefit in a test or two to ensure that the kids actually learn something.

When I came home, my daughter was watching TV while practising her trumpet. “Do you know what is one way to prevent a hangover after drinking?”, she asked. As I saw that she was watching a Science oriented TV show, it was obvious that this topic was discussed during the show. I answered that I didn’t know allowing her to tell me that you needed to drink lots of water after every glass of alcohol that you have. “Why?” I asked, innocently. “Because hangovers are caused by dehydration”, she told me sagely. I nodded in reverence to her knowledge. It occurred to me that there was no perfect school curriculum as school only occupies a third of the day. I sat down with her to learn about whether Coca-Cola could dissolve a tooth in a single day.

Electoral map 2008

The electoral map as of September 13th, has 6 battleground states. They are: Pennsylvania, Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Colorado and Virginia. The permutations and combinations to win the election are complex but much simpler for Barrack Obama than for John McCain. Aside from Florida and Virginia, Obama is leading in all other states. Virginia is a virtual toss-up.

For Obama, the following combinations will ensure victory:
1. Florida, Pennsylvania and any of the other 4 states
2. Florida, Ohio and any other of the other 4 states
3. Florida, Michigan and any of the other 4 states
4. Michigan, Pennsylvania and Virginia,
5. Pennsylvania, Ohio, Virginia
6. Michigan, Pennsylvania and Ohio
7. Any combination of 3 states and Colorado

For McCain to win:
1. Florida, Ohio, Virginia
2. Florida, Michigan, Virginia, Colorado
3. Florida, Ohio, Michigan
4. Florida, Virginia, Pennsylvania
5. Florida, Michigan, Pennsylvania
6. Florida, Colorado and any two others
7. Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania
8. If he doesn’t win Florida he must win 4 of the other 5 states.

The most interesting point is how Obama has managed to reshape the map in the Midwest. Indeed, even in the most conservative of Midwest states – Indiana, he is narrowly behind McCain. as noted by CNN columnist, Jack Cafferty, it all started one frigid night in Iowa. Nothing astonishing was supposed to occur. Hillary Clinton did not campaign vigorously as she thought her victory was locked up here. On that cold January night, the state of Iowa which is 95% White, decided that they had had enough of the Bush administration and they cast their support for a skinny black guy with a funny name. This sentiment has swept through the Midwest and the unlikely scenario of an African-American President is now a possibility.

Sarah Palin

At first blush, the nomination of Sarah Palin as Johnny Mac's VP sounded preposterous. She was after all, a Governor of a small state for just under 2 years. Before that she was the mayor of an even smaller town in the 49th state. With the many attacks that the GOP had made on Barry O's lack of experience, her nomination appeared contradictory. The GOP was very quick to dispell any questions about her experience. Early comments by political pundits suggested that she was selected because Johnny Mac wished to court disenchanted supporters of Mrs. C. I found this suggestion completely absurd. Palin's politics are in stark contrast to the liberal leanings of the New York senator. Sarah Palin is a life-long member of the NRA, she is pro-life, she advocates oil drilling in the arctic wildlife refuge and of course most importantly, she is a Republican. On pondering this it occurred to me that none of these stances were relevant to the many problems which ail the United States right now. Can someone please educate me on how any of her platforms are relevant to healthcare, education, economic decline (budget deficit, trade deficit, weakened US dollar, housing slump, banking crisis)? If one stretches one's imagination a little, one could see some connection between her pro-gun stance and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, in the sense that she believes in the power of the allmighty weapon to crush any and all opposition. I have no issue with her level of experience, its her lack of relevance to any major issues that is my problem.